Even when I want to say that I am okay after the QR rejection, I can honestly say that I am not.

Human beings are naturally gifted with the ability to look for optimism after something dreary has dampened their spirits. We console ourselves with the thought that perhaps, things happen the way they do because the grander scheme of things is incomprehensible to the present and the now.

I know that they are hard to understand — but my human side, which is more real and raw to me right now, cannot help but be ensnared by sadness that paralyses and makes me question myself.

Why do I continually mess up, and why do I perennially find myself at the receiving end of disappointments?

Sigh.

I know these words are borne from mere frustrations and that by nature, I am bound to bounce back and genuinely smile again. But for now, I will need to go against all these optimistic lines and anecdotes of things being okay in the long run — because we can only realistically reclaim our happiness if we have allowed our hearts to endure the grief of mourning.

But I am still hopeful.

That, at least, is my only shining consolation right now.