perhaps, when things seem too good to be true, and when the stars deceptively conspire to make you believe that you have so much brilliance in you, there is something that lurks within the periphery: a rupture that is inconspicuously veiled underneath the promise of sudden prominence.

last august 4, i celebrated my yearlong marriage to debating — and it was both mind-blowing and exhilarating, celebratory but mournful, and beautiful yet incomplete.

i understood the decision of the judges; that we were only second best in that round — but deep within the recesses of my heart, i feel the trappings of a man that has been, in an instant, broken.

but i don’t argue against this natural impluse, for my justification is simple: how can one temper the proddings of despair from a solitary heart?

it needs to be ruptured, brutally if need be, because it is this unguarded and uninhibited admission that will lead to genuine recuperation.

it was a bittersweet moment — a disconcerting experience that has broken me to the complexities of the human emotions, and the uncertainty of the stars.

i am happy and sad; gratified yet unsatisfied;

complete, however broken.

*written onboard the ferry to bacolod, just as the strong waves against the helpless vessel were fanning the sadness that was brewing inside.